OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
