why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
