Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
