Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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