Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
