As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
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I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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