If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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