i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.