I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We got so high we made milksteak
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.