If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
