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• (816): View more from Missouri

  i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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• (949): View more from California

  we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hate that ur telling me this.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (516): View more from New York

  ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

  (585): View more from New York

  hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

  (516): View more from New York

  is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.

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• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point

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• (315): View more from New York

  she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.

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