So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
