You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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