dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
BRING THE BAGELS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
