I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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