So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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