Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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