i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
