you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
