he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
