Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
