call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
