i think my mom watched the whole time
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Randomize
