i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..