Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.