I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
