I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.