I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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