I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
