I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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