My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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