im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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