You're so nebulous sometimes
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
how does that bad decision feel?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
