I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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