i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
