yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
