Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
