so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
