xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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