Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
