Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
