I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
