I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
