ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
