i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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