Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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