I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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