I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
