Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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