My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
