And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
