they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
