he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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