the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
