i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
