My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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