so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
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there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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