okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
