don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
