I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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