i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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