"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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