.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
