Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
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Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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