At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
