god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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