Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize