You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
