i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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